An Award I Can Applaud

I (Scott, not Angie) go to great lengths to avoid exposure to so-called "celebrity news." The phrase itself is an oxymoron. A half page photo of an actress without makeup on, fumbling to get into her Mercedes AMG with a $6 cappuccino in one hand and a Prada hand bag in the other isn't actually news - or at least it shouldn't be. And no, slapping a caption on the bottom of the photo that reads, "Stars struggle to get into their cars just like Us!" doesn't help.

This week, however, I heard a bit of celebrity news on the radio that got my attention and even made me smile: Sarah Jessica Parker was named the Unsexiest Person in the World. Now, it should be noted that unlike women, men like myself do not ordinarily take pleasure in cutting down, demeaning, backstabbing, or needlessly ruining the reputation of other people. Unlike you, we men don't obsess with drawing unfair and usually inaccurate comparisons with others in a pitiful attempt to somehow lift our own teetering self esteem. It's just too much work to care that much. We would rather just lie on the couch and watch re-runs of MacGyver. That said, I will admit to taking a bit of unjustifiable pleasure when I heard of Ms. Parker's ignominious coronation.

The funny thing is that I'm really not sure why I care. I mean, I have nothing against this woman. I've never met her. She may have donated a kidney to save the life of a common street urchin for all I know. But there has just always been something about her that makes my skin crawl. I don't know if it's because as 14 year old I noticed that in the movie "Honeymoon to Vegas" she didn't shave her legs above mid-thigh even though there was a pool scene (an offense by the way that is inexcusable and should be punishable by death.) I don't know if it's because she makes commercials like this:



I just don't know. All I do know is that I agree with the assessment. This woman should not be getting paid to tell other women what kind of perfume to wear, what kind of hair color to use, where to buy your clothes, and she certainly should not have been the face of a show called "Sex in the City." I swear that every time a commercial for that show came on and I had to be confronted with her ridiculous wanna-be seductive stare into the camera, with a fan blowing her mane of hair, I could only shake my head in disenchanted wonderment. Shoot, even Matthew McConaughey couldn't get along with her. Matthew McConaughey!! Have you seen "A Time to Kill"? What more do you need to know! Seriously.